Lev, A. I. (2004). The Complete Lesbian & Gay Parenting Guide. New York: The Berkley Publishing Group, 2004, 379 pages, $15.00.
Arlene Istar Lev, CSW-R, CASAC, is a family therapist and lesbian mother. Her practical parenting guide offers both serious counsel and heartwarming stories illustrating everyday realities faced by families that many people, even some clinicians, still consider "alternative." Topics covered include coming out, infertility, artificial insemination, legal rights, and adoption (including the controversial issue of trans-racial adoption). Lev, from her systemic perspective, has written a comprehensive 21st century treatment of the issues facing GLBT people who are or wish to be parents.
While this book focuses on GLB families, Lev pays more than the usual lip service to transgender people and their unique issues, addressing the experience of all "those who are marginalized for sexual and gender-identity issues" (p. 7). In a way no previous book of its kind has been, Lev's volume is relevant to the special needs of transgender parents. It is not surprising that the author would fill this gap in the literature, given her keen interest in and broad experience with transgender clients.
This work is divided into four parts, with additional appendices covering print and web-based resources, as well as support organizations. Part I describes family formation options, methods, choices, and common roadblocks. Part II offers valuable information on building, supporting, and protecting healthy families once they have been created. In Part III, Lev discusses the painful issues that are often kept in another closet in discourse about "alternative" relationships and families: divorce, domestic violence, addictions, and mental illness. Part IV addresses coming out, parenting while maintaining a sex life, and spirituality/religion. Throughout, Lev's scholarly writing is leavened by her droll sense of humor. In acknowledging the conservative right-wing's likely scrutiny of the "sex" chapter, she suggests that "if… one's goal were to eliminate gay sex… encouraging gay parenting would be an underutilized strategy with the greatest proven success rate" (p. 285).
In a dynamic and erudite fashion, Lev offers information about the extra effort necessary for the creation of emotionally secure and psychologically healthy family environments for children of GLBT parents. This information is vital due to the threat posed by societal homophobia and transphobia. The distinct perspective of The Complete Lesbian & Gay Parenting Guide will increase clinicians' sensitivity to issues of diversity. This excellent resource is a must for the bookshelf of any family therapist who wants to become more fully informed about the medical, legal, social, and psychological issues faced by GLBT individuals and couples who are already parents of young children or who want to parent.
Virginia Erhardt, Ph.D., Private Practice, Decatur, Georgia.
