Lesbian and Gay Parenting Questions & Answers Column With Arlene Istar LevDear Ari

A column by Arlene (Ari) Istar Lev

School Counselor

| August 22, 2010

Dear Ari: I had a student come to me today and share with me that his mom is gay. He is being asked questions by other students and is afraid to tell them the truth because he thinks they will make fun of him. I haven’t dealt with this issue before. I would like to […]

Sexy and Trans

| August 21, 2010

Dear Ari: I identify as a transwoman, I find that there is still a strong element of sexual tension when I am able to go out fully presenting. Not quite the erotic high some cross dressers get, but it is still there. Could this mean I am not truly a transwoman, but rather a cross […]

Single Butch Parenting

| August 20, 2010

Dear Ari: It’s good to find such a wonderful website that talks about single parents. I am a butch lesbian who would like to carry her own child. I’m an only child and I come from a culture where children are glorified. I just got out of a relationship: my ex had a child from […]

Single Pregnancy Support

| August 19, 2010

Dear Ari: If you are single, and you haven’t got a partner to support you through pregnancy, how easy is it to cope? How much support do you need from other people, e.g. family, neighbors, etc.? — R. Jones Dear R. Jones: It is unclear from your query whether you are a single parent by […]

Soul Mates

| August 18, 2010

Dear Ari: I am a 46-year-old lesbian. About a year and a half ago I fell deeply in love with what feels like my soulmate. She feels the same way, and has never been in a same-sex relationship before this. She left her husband to pursue a relationship with me. She has two beautiful children, […]

Straight Stepmom

| August 17, 2010

Dear Ari: I am dating now a wonderful man who has custody of his 14 year old son. I am straight, he is straight, his ex-wife is gay and she has a partner. The mother left because she is gay and they have been divorced for seven years now. She did not tell her family […]

Trans Alphabet Soup

| August 16, 2010

Dear Ari: What is up with the DSM and the APA and GID – there are too many initials to make sense of it all. For the last few months there have been endless emails, and blogs, and website postings about Gender Identity diagnoses, and Ken Zucker and Ray Blanchard, and trying to sort through […]


| August 15, 2010

Dear Ari: I am a 35-year-old transgender person with a problem. I have told everyone in my family about my plans, and all have taken it remarkably well. This includes my spouse whom I deeply love and who has known about me since before we were wed. The problem now is deciding how to tell […]


| August 14, 2010

Dear Ari: Why do we need the WPATH standards of care? Haven’t we come far enough in the handling of folks with gender issues that rules like these aren’t needed? —Lucinda, living full-time in Heartland Dear Lucinda: If I only had a dollar for each time I get asked this question, it would probably pay […]