Lesbian and Gay Parenting Questions & Answers Column With Arlene Istar LevDear Ari

A column by Arlene (Ari) Istar Lev

Lesbian Auntie

| September 1, 2010

Dear Ari: On a recent trip to visit my sister and her children (ages 10 and 7), my niece asked me if my partner and I “had our own rooms” at home. I skirted around the question, but I would really like to talk openly and honestly with my nieces and nephews about my relationship. […]

Long-Lost Lesbian Love

| August 31, 2010

Dear Ari: Once upon a time a young lady and I in high school fell in love, but when my mother found out about it, she removed me from the school and I was never to speak to this girl again. Seventeen years passed, and I was in a heterosexual marriage with children, but she […]

Married and Trans

| August 30, 2010

Dear Ari: I am a M to F trans person, currently married, and I hear a lot of people tell me that the odds against staying in a relationship with a family is so small it isn’t worth pursuing. Is this true, or is there hope we can manage to stay a family? And do […]

“Mommy,” “Daddy,” or…?

| August 29, 2010

Dear Ari: I began my transition 2 years ago with my ex-wife’s support (sort of.) At first she really seemed happy that I was finally becoming myself, but lately she has been very difficult to get along with and I feel she is trying to take my kids from me. My son is 7 years […]

My (Gay) Brother’s Keeper

| August 28, 2010

Dear Ari: My brother is gay and has lived with the same man for 15 years. I have three kids, all girls who dearly love their uncle. My brother is especially close to my oldest. The other day my oldest, who is 11, asked, “Why does Uncle Scottie live with Uncle Tony?” I explained that […]

New (Lesbian) Family

| August 27, 2010

Dear Ari: My 33 year old partner of ten-plus years and I (I’m 51 years old) are considering starting a family.  I have two children, a 25 year old son and a 21 year old daughter. My daughter has been extremely supportive of my relationship and gets along well with my partner, however, for my […]

Out with Children

| August 26, 2010

Dear Ari: I am a single Lesbian mother of three who has found her soulmate. We are so much in love and the kids (who are mine) approve of our relationship. My problem is that we live in a very small town and my partner is not completely out to her family or in the […]

Poisonous Ex and Religion

| August 25, 2010

Dear Ari: I’m new to this lesbian field of 2 1/2 years.  My girlfriend and I moved to another town and my son’s father took him away from us.  My son has just moved back in with us and there are some issues rising. He has told us he was trying to break us up […]


| August 24, 2010

Dear Ari: I am a married bisexual female who is seeking another bisexual female to join my relationship with my husband. We are the parents of a five-year old daughter. Our marriage is strong and committed, and we have a loving home. Although we date women openly and are publicly affectionate, we never show any […]

The Right to Parenthood

| August 23, 2010

Dear Ari: I know that many lesbian and gay people are becoming parents, but what about transgender people… Do you think they should also have the right to have children? —Smother (some other kind of mother) Dear Smother: I often have the experience of people cozying up to me at social events (in and out […]