Lesbian and Gay Parenting Questions & Answers Column With Arlene Istar LevDear Ari

A column by Arlene (Ari) Istar Lev

Freud and Gender Identity

| September 11, 2010

Dear Ari: My partner and I are considering having a woman carry our child through surrogacy.We are not biased as to whether we have a boy or a girl, just as long as the baby is healthy. What are your thoughts about having opposite gender role models in the child’s life? We are aware of […]

Gay Parenting 101

| September 10, 2010

Question: My playgroup friends just found out I’m gay and asked my son and I to kindly not come back. I’m in shock – now what? Answer: Well, my first thought is why did your playgroup friends not know that you were gay until now? If you have been a member of the group for […]

The Glass Closet

| September 9, 2010

Dear Ari: I am seeking advice on a very dear loved one who I have no doubt is a lesbian but has chosen not to come out of the closet. We grew up together, she was the maid of honor at my wedding. We are both now in our early 30’s and have remained close. […]

Grandparents and Acceptance

| September 8, 2010

Dear Ari: How can we persuade grandparents to accept a non-biological grandchild? We are a family where each of the mothers has given birth to one daughter, within our relationship. The daughters are being raised as sisters, but one set of grandparents will not acknowledge this relationship. —2 Moms Dear 2 Moms, First of all—and […]

HIV in the Trans Community

| September 7, 2010

Dear Ari: I am an African-American HIV/AIDS outreach worker and some white gal who wandered into our support group meeting gave me a copy of Transgender Tapestry.  I was wondering why it didn’t mention anything about HIV/AIDS. I can’t remember how many sisters I have lost to this epidemic. An article I saw in POZ […]

Identity Crisis

| September 6, 2010

Dear Ari: I am a M to F trans person, in the middle of transition, and I find, no matter how strongly I identify as the opposite gender and feel I need to do this, that I still am constantly questioning myself and yes, my sanity. Is this normal? —Celeste in the Midwest Dear Celeste: […]

Introducing Son to Boyfriend

| September 5, 2010

Dear Ari: What is the best way to introduce my 13-year-old son to my partner of eight months?  The relationship that my partner and I share is wonderful and very stable. My son knows that I’m gay; however, this will be the first time that he is actually meeting a partner of mine. His mother […]

Kansas Custody Case

| September 4, 2010

Dear Ari: My children are 9, 8, and 3 1/2. My two oldest children have a different father that my youngest. Since I have told my ex-husband I am a lesbian, he has decided that he wants residential custody of my two oldest children. He is threatening to take me to court because living “out” […]

Laws of Virginia

| September 3, 2010

Dear Ari: I really enjoyed reading your article and was wondering if you could offer me any help with my current situation.  I live in Virginia and my partner and I are in a custody fight with her soon-to-be ex-husband.  We have lived in the same together for about 8 months now and her ex […]

Legal Rights and Family

| September 2, 2010

Dear Ari: I have been in a lesbian relationship for ten years now. Together we are raising my two daughters from a previous relationship, and a daughter we have together. My partner was just diagnosed with Genetic Emphyzema, and the doctors told her she only has 5-10 years of life. We live in Pennsylvania. I […]